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Server Time: 12/1/2008 8:52:46 PM PACIFIC |
 Russ Report - Volume 1, Russ, 23. Dec 2003 10:01 | ||
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| Let me start by saying that Bravo running a Celebrity Poker marathon is just like losing a big pot on the river. You know the result should have been better, yet as you watch it happen you have this undescribable pain that makes you want to scream. I sent an e-mail to Bravo TV to offer them some suggestions as to the celebrities they should extend invitations to for the next season (if we were to be so friggin lucky) I told them that the current roster of D-list celebs is not cutting the mustard, even for the most desparate viewers for poker television. Here are my nominations: 1. Guy who played Corky from Life Goes On (His play might be too advanced for the current roster of 'celebs') 2. Jeff the Drunk from the Howard Stern show (Would gel perfectly with Kevin Pollock's "humor") 3. Carson from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (Token Gay) 4. Mo Gaffney (You need someone with that mass appeal) 5. Rasheed Wallace (This would be incredibly entertaining) Last night on UB, I set a new world record in the "fastest time to be eliminated from a multi-table tourney" category. 19 seconds. I didn't even have time to offer my obligatory "gl all" before my seat went pitch black and my screen name disappeared. Am I the only one who thinks that UB should offer a 25% rake rebate if you lose within the first 60 seconds of a 300 player tourney? I decided to pop into a 2/4 ring game and I encountered a player who, for the sake of privacy, I will call "Slowest". Slowest would take between 15-20 seconds each round of betting to decide how to proceed. At first, I contemplated what could make someone so slow. Could it be his connection, could it be the site's performance, could it be Corky getting ready for the 2004 Celebrity Poker on Bravo? I started my chat inquiries with "zzz" thinking that the universal chat code for hurry the f up might stimulate some more efficient decision making. This didn't work. Another player at the table offered a friendly "Either hurry up or go kill yourself." Unfortunately, Slowest neither hurried up or killed himself. So as I was about to call it quits and leave the room I pulled pocket Aces. Slowest, with $20 left raised it to 2 bets. I re-raised and Slowest (after what felt like 2 days) capped out the bets. Flop was Skittles (rainbow of garbage) and after waiting around for Slowest to push all in I felt that I had him beat. He turns over KK and was sent packing. His seat went pitch black and the $44 pot seemed like I won MegaMillions. I think the 8 other players at the table were more pleased with me taking Slowest out than the capture of Saddam. Does anyone know of a way to expedite excruciatingly slow players other than pulling pocket rockets? Today's New Poker Business Idea: Piker Poker "The first online poker room dedicated to Fish" Has anyone reserved www.pikerpoker.com? How many people throw money into Party Poker because of the amount of poor players at their site? Why not set up an online poker room intended only for poor players. Who wouldn't join? Next Digest - Chris Moneymaker: What a Lucky Putz! | ||
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| Re: Russ Report - Volume 1, Highflyin3484k, 29. Dec 2003 14:37 | ||
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| Rasheed Wallace... OMG my stomach hurts..... I've been laughing for hours... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, thnk you russ you totally brightened my day... absolutely hilarous | ||
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| Re: Russ Report - Volume 1, Blade, 29. Dec 2003 14:46 | ||
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| Well done -May the bridges I burn light my way -Blade | ||
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