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Server Time: 8/28/2008 5:10:40 PM PACIFIC |
 The "Death" of a Poker Player, FeliciaLee, 16. Dec 2003 09:09 | ||
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| Monday, December 1, 2003 There has been a poker "death" in my family. Glenn is the victim, and the killer, both. Since Glenn and I retired from AOL last year, we started taking poker seriously. Not to make money to live on, but for something to do. We both attacked it from different angles. I wanted to talk to other poker players. I wanted to read every, single book. I wanted to eat, sleep and drink poker. I wasn't obsessed to the point that I was a degenerate gambler and blowing money, in fact, I got more pleasure out of reading poker books and watching WSOP videos than I did actually playing! Glenn, on the other hand, always wanted to be in the action. Nevermind that he couldn't play. He would ask me to "recap" a poker book I'd read, so that he would play better. Recap??? What the heck can he learn from that? Good poker books are to be chewed through, many times over; studied, studied, then studied some more. When we first got serious about poker, we would play low limit Stud. I would usually "cover" Glenn's losses. I experienced a really good run for several months and was more than able to sustain his awful play. Glenn made the switch to hold'em, and his losses were a bit more limited. He still wasn't any good, but at least he was tight (the one thing he'd learned from me and my Mom). Over time, Glenn got better at poker. Experience, the teacher, plus his genius mathmatical skills. He wasn't losing "as much." Glenn has never been a winner at poker. Several times I urged Glenn to just quit. He wasn't winning. He wasn't happy. He wouldn't study, nor could he accept that poker has a large percentage of luck built into the game. He couldn't tolerate the luck factor. He was used to chess, table tennis, billiards. He refused to accept that there are bad beats, and that bad players can take all of your money in any given session. A few years ago, Glenn had to go on blood pressure medication. He was only 31 years old, but his BP was dangerously high. He lost some weight, ate right, got into cardiovascular exercise, quit AOL, and managed to get it under control. It took about five years, but he was able to get it back within high/normal ranges, and go off of his prescription. Now Glenn's BP has skyrocketed again. He gets so angry at bad beats. He cannot understand poker. It isn't the game for him. I have tried to get him to read all of the books, specialize in one form of poker with less variance. I have tried virtually everything. He started wearing headphones so that he didn't have to listen to all of the yahoo's talk about drawing out on him. He listened to soothing music and/or music he loved. I have tried everything. Everything has failed. Finally I have convinced him that he has to quit poker. Felicia :) | ||
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| Re: The "Death" of a Poker Player, timmer, 16. Dec 2003 09:55 | ||
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| really sorry to hear about Glen. | ||
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| Re: The "Death" of a Poker Player, NewSchool, 16. Dec 2003 10:11 | ||
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| sounds like he needs to find another hobby. | ||
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| Re: The "Death" of a Poker Player, Denver, 16. Dec 2003 10:40 | ||
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| I think I speak for many of us when I ask "How will this affect your time at the tables?" You clearly have an insatiable love for the game, but the time the two of you have put in at the Belle and other places seems to be a big chunk of you life together. The catch-22 with gambling is you have to wager enough for it to mean something or else it's not any fun, but once it means something it hurts to lose. Even more so with poker, in that, a player can make a logical play that puts the odds in his/her favor and still be beat. At least with craps, blackjack (without counting methods), roulette and such the average recreational gambler knows they are paying to play. Once you play poker for a while you develop the dreaded 'E' word -- expectation. I wonder what you're expectation is now that your husband has sworn off your love... | ||
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| Re: The "Death" of a Poker Player, FeliciaLee, 16. Dec 2003 10:51 | ||
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| All of the replies have been fantastic; supportive and caring. Thank you! Unfortunately, due to my pure laziness, I am STILL behind when posting my journal entries on this forum. I'm trying hard to catch up, but I'm more than a week behind, if you study the date of the post. There is more news on this issue. I won't spoil it by replying to the fantastic posts, but I do want you to know that more is to come, and that there has been an (ongoing) conclusion to this matter. If I haven't already said it many times, I just want to reiterate how GREAT almost everyone has been at UPF. I am so glad I came back, after being gone so many months while my health was declining and we were forced to move West. The support on this group is unlike almost all others. The private e-mail I have received, along with the posted messages, have been overwhelmingly kind and gracious. You people ROCK! I guess I'm showing my age, because I believe we said that back in the '80's, LOL :) Look for more to come concerning Glenn and his poker issues. Felicia :) My Poker Journal: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FeliciaLee | ||
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| Re: The "Death" of a Poker Player, LJH, 16. Dec 2003 11:39 | ||
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| FELICIA , I HOPE IN YOUR UPDATED JOURNAL YOU WILL NOT TELL US THAT YOU AND GLENN HAVE COME TO A PARTING OF THE WAY.LJH | ||
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| Re: The "Death" of a Poker Player, Blade, 16. Dec 2003 12:05 | ||
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| Maybe I am missing something but He just stopped playing poker right? Some of the replies about "your loss" seem to interate that he is dead. I hope not I am truly sorry for your loss. -May the bridges I burn light my way -Blade | ||
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| Re: The "Death" of a Poker Player, FeliciaLee, 16. Dec 2003 12:13 | ||
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| LOL. No, Glenn is fine and dandy. I might have been very worried about his blood pressure, but I would never let him risk his health if I could help it. He is only 36, so I'm sure he will be around for decades to come. Thanks for caring. I'm sorry if my post was misleading. I'll go ahead and post the next entry on this subject, right now, to help conclude his dilemma. Felicia :) <<on 16. Dec 2003 12:05 Blade wrote: > Maybe I am missing something but He just stopped playing poker right? Some of the replies about > "your loss" seem to interate that he is dead. I hope not I am truly sorry for your loss. > > > -May the bridges I burn light my way > -Blade | ||
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| Re: The "Death" of a Poker Player, Blade, 16. Dec 2003 12:20 | ||
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| Good I am glad....although at times I am sure not being able to play any more would seem worse. -May the bridges I burn light my way -Blade | ||
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| Re: The "Death" of a Poker Player, LJH, 16. Dec 2003 11:36 | ||
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| FELICIA THAT STORY IS HEART RENDING IT BELONGS IN READR'S DIGEST OR THE TWELVE STEPS BOOK. MY CONDOLENCES FOR YOUR LOSS OF GLENN. LJH | ||
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| Re: The "Death" of a Poker Player, PairTheBoard, 16. Dec 2003 12:06 | ||
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| imo, Poker is a very rough game. Under some conditions it can be downright ugly. It's a little like the contest of Boxing. Even the best competitors get beat up. In boxing the beats are physical. In poker they are emotional and financial. In either "sport" you must be able to take a punch. Not to mention the difficulties in reconciling your concience with the punishment you may be inflicting on your opponents. How many victims of poker "greats" have gone home financially ruined, their lives destroyed, thier families sufferring? It is commonly known that the very worst of all the addictions is compulsive gambling. More suicides result from this addiction than from any other. But this is life. We do what we do. Risk enlivens us. That is how we are made. People will gamble. But it can be a serious business at times and not to be taken lightly. | ||
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| Re: The "Death"--Glenn, an Update, FeliciaLee, 16. Dec 2003 12:18 | ||
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| Last week I reported that Glenn gave up poker. Blood pressure and all of that. Well, I had a feeling that he was having a hard time giving it up. He saw me playing, so he wants to play. He is that type of personality, not to mention his drive to succeed at everything he takes on. He may not want to do everything possible for that success, like me, but he wants to succeed, even if he doesn't study his butt off. So I woke up in the middle of the night on Friday and caught him playing poker online! Boo, hiss! We talked about it all weekend. It seems that he just cannot stay away, as long as I am doing it. It's not a "gambling" compulsion, per se, but more of a jealousy thing. Glenn wants to do what I am doing. He has always been like that. For instance, I couldn't get him to drink a glass of water on his own for years. But if he sees me drinking water (which I always do, since I am diabetic), then HE has to drink a glass of water. Well, usually he just picks up my glass, gulps it down, and doesn't bother to refill it, LOL! I told Glenn that it seems that "bad beats" don't effect him as much in tourneys as in cash games. He concurred. Maybe the chips don't have as much cash value in tourneys. I suggested sticking to tourneys, if he really wants to play poker. He agreed that he really does need to study all of the books, not just skim through them or ask me what I think. He started reading Psychology of Poker again. This time, he is really digging through it, thinking about it. Talking to me about it. I don't know where all of this is leading, but I am willing to go along for the ride, as long as it doesn't cost Glenn his life. Felicia :) My Poker Journal: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FeliciaLee | ||
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| Re: The "Death"--Glenn, an Update, Blade, 16. Dec 2003 12:36 | ||
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| If I could make one suggestion it would be for him to play Wilson for about 20,000 hands. I also used to have a problem losing to inferior plays/players and doing that showed me that A) bad beats happen..often and B) it showed that good poker in the long run wins out. Since then I have been much better at handling my emotions -May the bridges I burn light my way -Blade | ||
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| Re: The "Death"--Glenn, an Update, FlopDaNutz, 16. Dec 2003 13:44 | ||
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| what is wilson? | ||
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| Re: The "Death"--Glenn, an Update, Blade, 16. Dec 2003 13:52 | ||
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| "What is wilson?" A) The next door neighbor of Dennis the Menace B) A Poker Software program -May the bridges I burn light my way -Blade | ||
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| Re: The "Death"--Glenn, an Update, FlopDaNutz, 16. Dec 2003 14:01 | ||
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| I thought it was poker software but I wasnt 100% sure. After all, you could have been refering to the volleyball in the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks. BTW...is this poker software free and does it really help your game. Does any poker software ever try to bluff pots or is it just strictly an odds and outs type program to play against? I would be interested in trying "Wilson" out if it may improve my game. DO you have a link? Is it pay or free? Thanks in advance. | ||
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| Re: The "Death"--Glenn, an Update, LJH, 16. Dec 2003 15:52 | ||
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| felicia, he is a compulsive gambler and he needs the twelve steps just like alcoholics. this means you must give up gamblling or him. ljh | ||
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| Re: The "Death"--Glenn, an Update, Blade, 16. Dec 2003 16:07 | ||
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| Yes because snap judgements based on a internet forum are always 100% accurate. You should definetly give up the man that you love. -May the bridges I burn light my way -Blade | ||
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| Re: The "Death"--Glenn, an Update, gary ford, 18. Dec 2003 12:36 | ||
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| Felicia----i totally disagree--Im a recovering alcoholic--sober for 26 years- My wife occasionally drinks, my son, 25, also drinks. getting sober was my job, no one elses. I dont belive there is any sign that Glenn is a compulsive gambler, in fact you are closer to it than he is. He needs to consult a doctor about his blood pressure and the things that cause it to elevate. Your poker life together should be a joy not a burden. You are both intelligent prople--work it out Good Luck--Gary | ||
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| Re: The "Death"--Glenn, an Update, FeliciaLee, 18. Dec 2003 13:25 | ||
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| Hey, Gary. I don't think you are replying to me, but maybe to someone else? I never thought Glenn was/is a compulsive gambler. Just a lazy learner, lol. Felicia :) on 18. Dec 2003 12:36 gary ford wrote: > Felicia----i totally disagree--Im a recovering alcoholic--sober for 26 years- > > My wife occasionally drinks, my son, 25, also drinks. getting sober was my job, no one elses. > I dont belive there is any sign that Glenn is a compulsive gambler, in fact you are closer to > it than he is. He needs to consult a doctor about his blood pressure and the things that cause > it to elevate. Your poker life together should be a joy not a burden. You are both intelligent > prople--work it out > > Good Luck--Gary | ||
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| Re: The "Death"--Glenn, an Update, gary ford, 19. Dec 2003 10:32 | ||
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| youre right- i was replying to ljh aka LJH--in the body of my reply youll find i said there is no sign that Glenn is a compulsive gambler | ||
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| Re: The "Death"--Glenn, an Update, gary ford, 19. Dec 2003 10:37 | ||
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| on 16. Dec 2003 15:52 LJH wrote: > felicia, he is a compulsive gambler and he needs the twelve steps just like alcoholics. > this means you must give up gamblling or him. ljh You have no idea what you are talking about. You speak assertively as though you do--but you dont--refer to later post on this subject | ||
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| Re: The "Death" of a Poker Player, Mikewad, 16. Dec 2003 14:39 | ||
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| May he rest in peace | ||
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| Re: The "Death" of a Poker Player, MozMan, 17. Dec 2003 17:53 | ||
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| Hey Felicia- Well, I know this info is a little outdated, but suspect that Glenn is still in the Midst of struggling with the game. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see a whole lot of his play, but what I saw pointed to a player with a lot of potential and not so much confidence. I would suggest two things: 1) read the books (you both know this already) and 2) learn to separate from the game emotionally. When he is less emotionally involved with the game, he may find it easier to play it "coldly correctly," instead of making decisions based on emotional responses, such as fear or anger. I suspect this will also put him, slowly, on the winning side, which will give him some confidence. -Moz "mmm.... piiiistol whip...." | ||
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