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Server Time: 11/20/2008 10:18:27 AM PACIFIC |
 getting vebally abused, kimmi690, 12. Sep 2003 16:32 | ||
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| I am a pretty new player to poker, just in freerolls right now. I am a young woman and lately I have been placing in the top 25, sometimes making it to the final table(for me, it comes a long way from placing 400 out of 401). I practice alot, and my play can be amateurish at times, but the men at the table just lay into me when I beat them out of huge pots. Its unnerving at times, and lately has been affecting my play. How should I handle these jerks? | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, -Sammy, 12. Sep 2003 16:45 | ||
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| Smile sweetly and just keep taking their money! | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, 4 POKER, 12. Sep 2003 17:02 | ||
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| Hi kimmi, Okay, here's a few suggestions for you. Change sites and come up with a name that sounds masculine so the players in the game will think you're a guy. But keep in mind......you "are" a female, so even if you do that.......it doesn't mean that the jerks in your game won't still try to berate you, even if they *think* you're a guy because players like that are jerks to everyone, and therefore........you're *still* going to get offended because your own feelings (and perhaps sensitivity) will not change just because your name may have. Understand? So changing your name by changing sites may not be of use to you, the more I think about it. So perhaps, if you get offended too easily and it throws you off your game.......then turn your player chat off and promise yourself that "You'll never turn it on, no matter what". So just leave the damn chat off,(LOL)..... and forget about all that conversation that goes on. Half the time it's all wasteless crap anyway. And what ever information (tells) that you'd be able to pick up on by leaving the chat "on", IMHO won't outweigh the fact that by doing so, it is now throwing you off your game. Just my opinion......I hope it helps you. Dave | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, flintsword, 12. Sep 2003 17:34 | ||
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| There are many ways people compensate for losing. Some blame "luck", others blame the player, other blame the site, but by far the big favourite in this "blame game" is the player raking in the pot. It is sad really, since blaming anything and anyone is a huge mistake, since it misses the point by a country mile. Instead of blaming "luck, they should realize that "the lucky player is usually the player that knows how much to leave to luck". The site is blameless since they are not in the game, providing only the medium and taking a rake. The player raking in the pot is only guilty of playing their cards and having the better hand, what is objectively wrong with that? Instead of blaming external elements, they should be asking key questions to the "person to blame", ... which themselves. Questions such as: "Why did I lose this pot?" or "Where did the folding signal - that I ignored - occur?" or "Have I misjudged the winning player's playing ability?" or "Did the odds favour this call that I lost?" or "How could I have played better?" There are other questions that could be asked. The difference between "blaming" and taking responsibility for your own cards is the difference between a loser and a winner. It is also the clear indication between a player that is playing "one way" and a player that intends improving his or her game. A player that is abusive (particularly personally abusive) is to be pitied. He should also be observed closely, since those are the players that "try to get even" and "target you" with less than premium hands, generally. They should put the play behind them and play on, objectively, but such is not their lot. In short, understand them, pity them, but don't join them. I applaud your declaration that you are for improving your play, and are objective enough to discuss how abusive behaviour affects you (and probably your play). Understanding the reasons people engage in this behaviour is a big step. The next step is exploiting this behaviour as a poker weakness. If chat "does" affect your game, and it is a critical game or tournament, by all means take 4 POKER's excellent advice and shut down the chat. Good luck in your games! flintsword | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, 4 POKER, 12. Sep 2003 17:52 | ||
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| "This" is a great post! Very well thought out. I like your thinking Flintsword! 4P- on 12. Sep 2003 17:34 flintsword wrote: > There are many ways people compensate for losing. Some blame "luck", others blame the > player, other blame the site, but by far the big favourite in this "blame game" is > the player raking in the pot. > > It is sad really, since blaming anything and anyone is a huge mistake, since it > misses the point by a country mile. Instead of blaming "luck, they should realize > that "the lucky player is usually the player that knows how much to leave to luck". > The site is blameless since they are not in the game, providing only the medium and > taking a rake. The player raking in the pot is only guilty of playing their cards and > having the better hand, what is objectively wrong with that? > > Instead of blaming external elements, they should be asking key questions to the > "person to blame", ... which themselves. Questions such as: "Why did I lose this > pot?" or "Where did the folding signal - that I ignored - occur?" or "Have I > misjudged the winning player's playing ability?" or "Did the odds favour this call > that I lost?" or "How could I have played better?" There are other questions that > could be asked. > > The difference between "blaming" and taking responsibility for your own cards is the > difference between a loser and a winner. It is also the clear indication between a > player that is playing "one way" and a player that intends improving his or her > game. > > A player that is abusive (particularly personally abusive) is to be pitied. He > should also be observed closely, since those are the players that "try to get even" > and "target you" with less than premium hands, generally. They should put the play > behind them and play on, objectively, but such is not their lot. > > In short, understand them, pity them, but don't join them. I applaud your > declaration that you are for improving your play, and are objective enough to discuss > how abusive behaviour affects you (and probably your play). Understanding the reasons > people engage in this behaviour is a big step. The next step is exploiting this > behaviour as a poker weakness. If chat "does" affect your game, and it is a critical > game or tournament, by all means take 4 POKER's excellent advice and shut down the > chat. > > Good luck in your games! > flintsword | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, flintsword, 12. Sep 2003 18:39 | ||
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| Wait till you read the odds post, ... I decided to write a long one ... lol. Thank you for the compliment. That is the way I think, ... flintsword | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, 4 POKER, 12. Sep 2003 19:18 | ||
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| on 12. Sep 2003 18:39 flintsword wrote: > Wait till you read the odds post, ... I decided to write a long one ... lol. Thank you for the > compliment. That is the way I think, ... > flintsword Hey, who said I'm gonna read the odds post?....lol. (just kidding)! Dave | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, oboy, 12. Sep 2003 18:36 | ||
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| At first I was taken aback by the verbal abuse. Then I got use to it. Now I find it funny. I especially like when someone let's me have pot odds (or even better a free card) and I pull a hand on the river. | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, LJH, 17. Sep 2003 16:10 | ||
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| KIMMI, THE BEST THING TO DO IS TO LEARN TO BANTER WITH THEM. MOST CANNOT AKE IT, AND IT IS GOOD FOR YOUR EGO AND YOUR REFLEXES. LJH | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, timmer, 12. Sep 2003 19:33 | ||
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| listen to what they say and if its true learn from it . If it isnt learn from it. Some times when a good player makes a good call i chat box ,"that call sucked how could you make such a bone head play." now he underestimates me and my play . when they do this I can beat them up some. it makes an inpression in their mind and it is usually the wrong one. Just a bit of gamesmanship that works wonders on those of weak constitution. | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, kimmi690, 12. Sep 2003 20:06 | ||
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| Hey! Thanks all for some great points. I will take them to heart and apply them in my play. Hopefully when I win my seat to a great big tourney, and they all see me at the final table, they'll hush. Until then, I must make the most of it. LOL I am learning alot from this site. I'm so glad I found it. Thanks again all! Kimmi | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, gary ford, 12. Sep 2003 20:51 | ||
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| on 12. Sep 2003 20:06 kimmi690 wrote: > Hey! Thanks all for some great points. I will take them to heart and apply them in my > play. Hopefully when I win my seat to a great big tourney, and they all see me at the > final table, they'll hush. Until then, I must make the most of it. LOL > > I am learning alot from this site. I'm so glad I found it. Thanks again all! > Kimmi Welcome Kimmi---How did you find this site?? The advice you have received is heartfelt and in the finest tradition of this site. Losers blaming others is part of life. Don't take it personally. If you haven't played in B&M yet prepare your self for that too. You cant turn that chat off, but most of the players will defend you from any verbal abuse. It is nice to see a lady in your age group dedicated to learning this game. Good luck!! fuel the boom--Gary Ford | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, kimmi690, 12. Sep 2003 20:55 | ||
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| Thanks Gary....it was a fluke how I found you...just surfing poker sites and found a link to here...what a godsend, lol. The info here is powerful to say the least. Kimmi | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, Mark, 12. Sep 2003 21:47 | ||
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| Hi Kimmi I read an amazing story about Annie Duke, she is a high limit pro who also has a family (with kids). What is so amazing about her is that after a year of starting to play, she was playing high limit poker and winning. She was able to use men's predujices (spelling?) against them and beat some of the best in the world. I think you have a great attribute being a woman, IF you can learn to play tight, you will win more than your fair share. This is because of the exact reason you are bringing up. Many men don't respect women at the poker table. And any time men see a woman playing bad, it just reinforces what they thought, "Women can't play". I took my wife to play poker once. After reading 1/2 a poker book and getting the basics down by playing 20 min online, she tried her hand a $5-10 hold'em. She played SUPER tight, only played big hands, and got called down EVERY time. She won more than her fair share because everyone tried to push her around when she hand the nuts. I think that being a woman will make if very hard for you to bluff, but you will almost always get paid off when you have a hand. Use this to your advantage. Mark | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, Angel, 12. Sep 2003 23:09 | ||
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| In an effort to cover ground that hasn't seen the light of day in this thread yet let me suggest that it may be that you are being 'laid into' by men at the table after you beat them for the same reason that I am 'laid into' by them when I beat them out of a huge pot - it may be because they hate to lose and have yet to evolved to a point where they can practice self-discipline. It may not have anything to do with your sex - whether or not they reference your sex when they are laying into you or not. | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, FUTRPKRSTR, 13. Sep 2003 04:38 | ||
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| Try reporting to your site. No chat priveleges no verbal abuse! | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, 4 POKER, 13. Sep 2003 04:51 | ||
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| on 13. Sep 2003 04:38 FUTRPKRSTR wrote: > Try reporting to your site. No chat priveleges no verbal abuse! That's a very good point, indeed! | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, mdf, 13. Sep 2003 08:21 | ||
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| I recently got sworn at on UB for disguising a hand. I simply added the other player to my buddy list and now everytime we are on at the same time, I sit at his table, play my game and take his money. In general, the players who cannot control their behavior cannot control their game either. | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, 3FingerJack, 17. Sep 2003 13:01 | ||
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| I like Sammy's advice. "Smile and keep taking their money". Look at it this way, you have proven you can take their money. If their abuse effects your game, just imagine how loosing and being on the receiving end of a good crack back will effect their game. Guys are great at dishing, but not to good a receiving. If I could add to Sammy's advice..."Smile and keep taking their money....and feel free crack back at the right time". You may be online...but that doesn't mean you can't get in their head. This is not church. No need to always take the moral high road here. May I recommend comments relating to their "manboobs" or "choking on small bones" or being "hung like a door knob". | ||
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| Re: getting vebally abused, Lee Holt, 17. Sep 2003 20:35 | ||
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| I know, it sucks the way some people behave at the poker table. But just don't let it rattle you, and keep taking down the chips. Lee Holt | ||
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