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Server Time: 3/20/2010 2:00:43 PM PACIFIC |
 Getting to the tournament, beigs, 15. Jul 2003 09:25 | ||
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| I'm a little confused as to how to get to the UB tourney on Thursday. Do we just show up and be whisked away to our table? Are there any drugs I need to take for that to happen? Thanks, beigs | ||
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| Re: Getting to the tournament, MozMan, 15. Jul 2003 09:29 | ||
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| Hey beigs, feel free to get stoned before the tourney. None of us will mind! :) Yeah, that's standard UB procedure. Just make sure you are logged into UB, and about 20 minutes or so before the tourney starts the software will automatically sit you down. You'll see a little popup window first that says "You are registered for a tournament and we are taking you to the table." and you just click ok. -Moz "The reports of my assimilation are greatly exaggerated." | ||
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| Re: Getting to the tournament, MozMan, 15. Jul 2003 09:32 | ||
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| BTW- If you login late, or right as the tourney is starting, it will also take you right to the table... I don't want anybody to think they MUST be logged in early to make it to the table... -Moz "The reports of my assimilation are greatly exaggerated." | ||
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| Re: Getting to the tournament, TKarrde, 15. Jul 2003 10:42 | ||
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| Beigs, it can be quite tricky but what you need to do is this: Turn on your computer. Go get a coke while your stupid Windows piece of poo boots up. Log into the internet if you are as unfortunate as I to not have any highspeed porviders. If you are on a dial-up... go take a pee. Otherwise go on to the next step. Now before you double-click on the UB icon. Go get a bucket and some wet wash clothes. Now time for the drugs. Go get two Extra Strenght Excedrin, two Immodium AD, a bottle of Malox and a bottle of Pepto. Ok, now you can log onto UB. Stare directly at the screen for 60 seconds. Ok, click on the Play Games tab. Keep staring. Are your eyes cross-eyed yet? Click on the Login button. Keep staring... keep staring. Is it time for the tourney yet? Keep staring... keep staring. WHAM! You are in your seat! Magic, huh?? Shhhh, don't tell anyone else how you did it. Now once the game starts you are gonna see a guy named TKarrde He will be two seats to your left. You'll notice he keeps steam rolling your raises. He keeps pushing you off marginally strong hands. Now you are getting a headache. Take your Excedrin. He keeps being the table bully. You are getting tired of it. Finally you get pocket AA. You slow play to trap him. You check his huge raise. Flop hits an Ace. You bet small. He comes over the top like he has all night. You force him all-in. You show your Pocket Rockets while TK turns up 23o. But you shit your pants when the turn and river come 4 and 5. Time for the Immodium AD. Can you believe you slow played those boys? Are you crazy? Just thinking about it makes you sick. (That and the shit in your pants.) Now mix the Malox and Pepto. Drink. Ugh! Nasty. Makes you puke. Hit the bucket! Feel better? You wanna wipe your forehead with the wet washcloth? I DON'T THINK SO!! You still got shit in your pants. Clean yourself up boy and get to bed! Oh, and don't forget to mail that casino chip! Cheers! TKarrde "The next best thing to playing and winning, is playing and losing." | ||
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| Re: Getting to the tournament, Wren, 15. Jul 2003 11:51 | ||
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| Heheheeh gross but funny :) | ||
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| Re: Getting to the tournament, Scrubbie, 15. Jul 2003 15:44 | ||
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| Classic Smak! Good stuff. Scrubbie "Poker is like law, you don't want it to go to trial" | ||
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